Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
