Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
