FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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