you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
