his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
