quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
