Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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