It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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