i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
