He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
