We won't sleep together?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
