It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Who died my cat blue again?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
