We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
why is half of my head shaved?
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