That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
