Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
