At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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