you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
