distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
