Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
