So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Randomize
