You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
is this the sara with the beer cane?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's blow job season.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
