I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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