Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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