i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
