you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
