Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
