I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
