Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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