in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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