if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
