You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
