Last Night in Georgia (404)

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  You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?

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  You don't want to know. Trust me.

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  He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.

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  Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom

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  He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.

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  I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist

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  Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.

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  So vagazzling was a success

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  I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked

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  He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?

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