Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
