Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
