I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
