Last Night in New Jersey (848)

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?

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  Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.

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