Last Night in Texas (915)

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• (915): View more from Texas

  so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me

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• (915): View more from Texas

  dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop

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• (915): View more from Texas

  What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?

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• (915): View more from Texas

  After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper

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• (915): View more from Texas

  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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• (915): View more from Texas

  You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic

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• (915): View more from Texas

  My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.

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