Texts From Last Night · slate_32's Favorites

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slate_32's Favorites Texts:

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(778): View more from British Columbia

No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

Fav 16 4748 919
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(206): View more from Washington

alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac

Fav 5 3339 816
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(513): View more from Ohio

he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"

Fav 20 2796 1349
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(515): View more from Iowa

im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.

Fav 6 2590 1126
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.

Fav 31 3309 1191
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(623): View more from Arizona

Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."

Fav 13 3296 1574
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

Fav 16 2585 1230
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.

Fav 11 2989 1743
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