Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
