Texts From Last Night · lmh228's Favorites

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lmh228's Favorites Texts:

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(773): View more from Illinois

you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.

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(407): View more from Florida

Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?

(540): View more from Virginia

THATS VERY WEIRD

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.

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(785): View more from Kansas

That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.

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(805): View more from California

Are you feeling okay?

(1-805): View more from California

Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.

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