Texts From Last Night · fckyou's Favorites

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fckyou's Favorites Texts:

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(818): View more from California

well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning

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(716): View more from New York

I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

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(516): View more from New York

she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen

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(303): View more from Colorado

He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed

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(847): View more from Illinois

i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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