Texts From Last Night · damnsheshot's Favorites

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damnsheshot's Favorites Texts:

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(916): View more from California

I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo

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(253): View more from Washington

The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

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(330): View more from Ohio

when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

(339): View more from Massachusetts

No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...

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(858): View more from California

You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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(347): View more from New York

Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.

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