Texts From Last Night · SassPanther's Favorites

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SassPanther's Favorites Texts:

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(702): View more from Nevada

God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....

Fav 4 1303 498
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(423): View more from Tennessee

A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.

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(585): View more from New York

if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake

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(316): View more from Kansas

He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice

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(503): View more from Oregon

It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.

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