Texts From Last Night · FastestMoFoAlive's Favorites

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FastestMoFoAlive's Favorites Texts:

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(513): View more from Ohio

sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.

Fav 16 7203 1250
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(786): View more from Florida

i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.

Fav 19 1344 4796
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

God wants them to get laid too.

Fav 59 8463 1869
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(513): View more from Ohio

Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.

Fav 96 13845 2782
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(336): View more from North Carolina

While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.

Fav 16 5921 1537
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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

Fav 14 5736 1176
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(613): View more from Ontario

Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom

Fav 13 1198 5357
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(360): View more from Washington

Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.

Fav 23 6996 1199
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(810): View more from Michigan

Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you

Fav 21 5407 1988
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