so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
