I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
