Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
