I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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