Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
