that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
