Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
