dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
