wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
wow bdsm is so cute
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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