If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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