i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
two words: eviction party
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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