I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
