no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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